I have a problem

It has occurred to me that I am a compulsive overeater. I am self sabotaging and I am not sure why. I think it is more than just emotional escapism...that is a big part of it though. I don't really know what to do. I went to the OA websites but they seem strange to me. I don't want to identify that way. I have gotten to the point where I don't really like myself...and that is not fair to my son. I am horrified that my self esteem is so tied up in this. It makes me feel like a failure. As much as I achieve I have still failed. I know that sounds crazy and that irritates me even more. I owe it to my family that loves me to get better. I will try.