Did ok today

I had 2 slimfasts and my lovely husband brought me veggies from Boston Market. Not the healthiest veggies in the world but veggies none the less. I didn't snack. I didn't binge. I feel ok. I did, however, go into a crazy mania and compile 2 contractor bags worth of crap to donate to goodwill. I'm-a-fixin' to go on another mania inside my closet. See you tomorrow.

today

It is 2:23 today and I haven't eaten yet....unusually. I've decided to try the slim-fast thing for the reasons previously stated. I know I should eat breakfast but I am just now starting to get hungry. I spent the morning taking care of little man and cleaning up for the move in August. I'm going to sip a slim fast and plop myself in front of the TV for a rest.

I have a problem

It has occurred to me that I am a compulsive overeater. I am self sabotaging and I am not sure why. I think it is more than just emotional escapism...that is a big part of it though. I don't really know what to do. I went to the OA websites but they seem strange to me. I don't want to identify that way. I have gotten to the point where I don't really like myself...and that is not fair to my son. I am horrified that my self esteem is so tied up in this. It makes me feel like a failure. As much as I achieve I have still failed. I know that sounds crazy and that irritates me even more. I owe it to my family that loves me to get better. I will try.